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Saturday, 14 August 2010

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Would you have one child?  I've heard many women say that they would never have one child because they wouldn't want them growing up alone or only children are spoiled and misbehaved.   I stopped at one, and my daughter turned out just fine.  She had playmates, she listened and she followed rules.  Now I must admit, I spoiled her rotten and I enjoyed every second of it.  Yes, she had more than most children because she was an only child, but that's not my problem maybe the other children's parents should have stopped at one too.  I had to mention that fact on numerous occasions while I was raising her.  There were alot of children who envied her clothes, possessions, and accomplishments.  She was called "Little Princess" by some of her classmates and if you can believe by some adults.  Those with siblings seemed to be the ones who were green with envy.  I'm not saying that all children who had siblings were a problem, but I am saying that the children she had issues with had siblings.     

I often wondered why people believed that only children were unhappy, selfish, spoiled, lonely and well just maladjusted.  The "only" children that I know do not fall into any of these categories.  For years only children have been pointed at and used as an example of what American children should not be.  I've often wondered after hearing the stereotypes of only children, what the explanation was for children who misbehaved and who had siblings.  

I got my answer.  Psychology Today has proven just the opposite of the myths that have plagued only children for years.   The magazine states that the majority of only children turn out to be happy, well-adjusted adults.  It seems that children with siblings often have self-esteem problems because they grow up thinking their siblings were favored or they were neglected because mom and dad had to divide their time, attention and money.  Oh lets not forget the middle child syndrome and the arguments and hatred spewed between siblings.  Psychologist have found that it can take a lifetime to work out problems created because children grew up believing they were treated unfairly by their parents or siblings don't speak for years if ever again over childhood issues that were never resolved.  

I grew up with 7 siblings.  We spend hours reminiscing about our childhood.  Some memories are good and some I wish I could forget.  We actually have a good relationship with each other.  Most of us have done well; however, you know there's always one that causes havoc in the family.  We have one that's been at it for 27 years, and he's still creating problems.  He's my brother and I love him, but he makes me sick.  Do you hear me.  Anyway two of us have only 1 child, which they played together growing up and are very close to this day. 

My daughter has stated that there were times she wished she had a sibling, but for the most part she was content with her upbringing.  She had my undivided attention, she had everything she needed, and the majority of the time she got everything she wanted.  By the age of 21, she had traveled extensively and to places that most people won't see in a their lifetime.  We had no behavior problems with her growing up.  She did not hit, spit or bit other children nor did she disrespect any adults.  Not once did we receive the dreadful calls from the principal or police.  She excelled in school and had plenty of cousins and friends to play with growing up.  To this day, she's very sociable and respectful.    

Personally, I believe people should have as many children as they can want and can afford.  None of us know how our children are going to turn out.  Whether we have 1 child or 10, we just do the best that we can raising them by setting example, guiding them in the right direction, and sending up lots of prayers.  I survived motherhood one day at a time, and it is still my motto.  

Do you have 1 child?  Did you grow up an only child?  We would love to hear your take on this issue.  Please leave us a comment. 


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