Are we giving up on marriage too soon? It seems to be quite a few break-ups in Hollywood recently, or maybe I'm just noticing. Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony, Kobe and Vanessa Bryant, Seal and Heidi Klum, Kenny G and his wife Lyndie. It seems so easy to just walk away these days. Now I'm not judging anybody, I'm divorced. I left an unhealthy relationship, and I believe these types of marriages should end. They're not good for anyone involved including the children. I'm grateful that I had the courage to leave, and I'm even more grateful that I had the courage to survive it and better my life. So, I'm not standing in judgement of anybody. I'm just wondering why people walk away from a marriage if it is basically healthy, it just requires a few adjustments. Couples are suppose to grow together, but it seems more and more are growing apart.
I'm wondering if it's because people are not willing to compromise in their marriages, if there's another person involved or they've just fallen out of love. It seems that people believe that it is easier to replace their partners, and they do. Do people still include the words for better or worst, for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health in their vows or is it until I get sick of you and than I'm history? It's been awhile since I've been to a wedding.
Is it unfair to mislead your partner, and have them believe that you love them when you really don't? I would be devastated. I would rather part than sleep with someone whose heart is with another or simply not with me.
I'm sure there is stress and strain in celebrity marriages. Us regular folks have stress and strain why can't they feel the same. I'm sure when one partner is traveling and the other is left to run the house and management the children that produces a tremendous amount of stress. Oh that's right, they have tons of money, nannies, chefs and domestic help don't they. On the other hand, those things don't have anything to do with loving another person do they. What happened to perseverance and persistence? What happened to going the extra mile for your family? It seems that it has all fallen by the wayside. Has women's liberation made it easier for us to walk away from marriage? I was driving back from a visit with my daughter, who has a healthy and loving marriage in spite of my divorce, and I was listening to a CD of old songs. Natalie Cole's I'm Catching Hell came on. She spoke of the difficulty of living alone after her man left. She said it was the little things that she missed, him fixing things around the house, carrying the groceries, and paying the bills. You know the things we take for granted. Not once in that song did she say she missed anything about who he was as a person or how he treated her.
Has the fact that women make as much if not more than their husbands had a negative effect on marriage? I look back at women my mother's age, and there were very few divorces. They stayed and worked through their problems. Most women who stayed in their marriages didn't work outside the home. They relied on their husbands to pay the bills and take care of the finances in the home. Does a woman making more money than her husband cause him to have a bruised ego? So many questions and so few answers. Women today make their own money and celebrate divorce with a Divorce Cake. It's not big deal.
How do we get back to the true meaning of a marriage? What do we as women need to do to stay in our marriages and ride out the storms? What is it that men need to do? I would love to hear from women who have left their marriages and those who have stayed. You may hold the key to a successful marriage or may have some advice for those of us who are struggling in our marriages and love life. Leave us a comment.